this is gonna be written in mostly the same way the frog blog was, melancholic and sappy writing all (usually) around one topic, transness.
as afformentioned, this is a rewriting (and rethinking) of something ive written before. so, it may seem (in what ive written or what i am to write) that i overuse the topic/motif of being a transwomen in my writing. but id like to call attention to the fact that so many trans-women find the sadness or even suffering that we experiance taints-or even defines our experiances as women. i lay somewhere in the 2nd camp. my entire existance as a trans women so far has been defined by my actions with online communites and the pain that ive felt knowing ive got a long ways to go before i can improve my circumstance in any way. this has permiated into my art a lot, it was my motivation to write and code in the first place. and as i said in the first writing of this "if im gonna be a sad t-girl its gonna be in my art."
I wanted to ride this sad wave and use it to art(as usual). if you ever got to Read the frog blog you know I adore ROAR. owen Evans captures emotion in music in a way I resonate with. I'm sad rn and wanna write about a favorite from him : the confort of a laugh track. similarly to the Suki Waterhouse writing I did, this won't be on the song as a whole, more how certain parts made me feel. the title has a decent bit of meaning to it. the comfort of a laugh track is to me the comfort that someone is watching, someone cares enough to laugh at your misfortune or otherwise. (this gets venty ahead) this song touches on things like loneliness and fantasizing, that just kinda hits me right now. I'm a lovesick girl. [I have ran out of direction and I'm tired and sad this will remain unfinished]